Beyond the White Coat: Parenting in Medical School

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This month on UMich Med Mosaic, we meet Beth Kranyak and Kyle Homer, student parents at the University of Michigan Medical School who are juggling clinical rotations, coursework and family life. Beth and Kyle share how they’ve navigated childcare, study sessions and sleepless nights, all while supporting their young families. Hear how accommodating faculty, flexible curriculum and a vibrant parent community at Michigan Medicine have helped them thrive.

Transcript

Mackenzie Kay:

Hi everyone, and welcome to UMich Med Mosaic, a medical student run podcast we've created to shine a light on the diverse backgrounds and experiences of our students here in Ann Arbor. I'm Mackenzie Kay. I'm so happy and grateful to be here at Michigan. I wanted to start this podcast to build community through hearing the stories and experiences of my peers. And as an avid podcast listener, I feel passionately about podcasts as a medium. Through these conversations, we hope to show that there is a no one-size-fits-all definition of a medical student. Whether you're a current or prospective medical student, we hope that you feel inspired by these narratives.

Hi, everyone, and welcome to episode one of season two of UMich Med Mosaic. In today's episode, we're exploring what it's like to balance two of life's biggest callings, being a medical student, and being a parent. We are joined by two inspiring student parents who have learned to navigate anatomy labs and nap times, study sessions and story times, clinical rotations and childcare, all while pursuing their dream of becoming physicians. They will be sharing what it's really like to raise a family during medical school, and what they wish that more people understood about their journeys.

With us today, we have Beth Kranyak and Kyle Homer. Can each of you tell me a little bit about yourself, what year you're in, where you call home, and your favorite sweet treat in Ann Arbor or the surrounding areas?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

My name is Beth and I am a fourth year medical student. I am originally from Tennessee, but my husband is from this area, so that's how we ended up here. And I started medical school with a seven month old, and then I was pregnant for most of my clerkship year in M2 year, and had my baby right at the start of M3. So, he is now about 14 months old.

Mackenzie Kay:

Oh, wow. What rotation were you in when you got pregnant and when did you... You said you were an M3 when you delivered?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yep.

Mackenzie Kay:

Okay.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Well, right at the end.

Mackenzie Kay:

Right at the end.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So I planned this out about two years in advance. I was a planner and when selecting my clerkship rotation, like which track to go on, I wanted to end on OB so that I could be nine months pregnant at that point, just in case anything were to happen.

Mackenzie Kay:

Smart.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

And it worked out perfectly. So I was on my psych rotation, it was January of 2023, I think, or 2024, I don't even know, whatever year it was, that January, it was psych and that's when I found out I was pregnant and I was like, "This isn't happening." So yeah, planned it to give birth the last week of my rotations.

Mackenzie Kay:

Oh my goodness, that's amazing. I feel like when I've asked people when the best time might be, I always hear M1 year, M3 year, M4 year. It's very rare that I hear M2 year.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Well, pregnancy is doable. Having a baby M2 year, I don't know that that would be feasible.

Mackenzie Kay:

Well, there's going to be more questions about this, but I'm also dying to know, what is your favorite sweet treat?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes. So, I live in Ypsilanti and our favorite place, one of our favorite restaurants as a family is Sidetracks, and they have a massive brownie sundae that is the size of a dinner plate. It's a huge brownie and then it's covered with like, I don't know, probably four or five scoops of ice cream and doused in hot fudge and whipped cream. And it's not something you want every day, but when you need a treat, it's epic.

Mackenzie Kay:

Sounds amazing. All right, now Kyle, to you. Same question.

Kyle Homer:

Yeah. So my name's Kyle. I'm an M2 currently. Oregon is my home. I miss it a lot, but I really love Michigan as well. My wife and I moved here and we had a two and a half year old. My second baby, she was born in the middle of M1 year, right on the day I was supposed to take my final exam, which was rough. Fortunately, I was allowed to take the exam a little bit later, like three days later. I did not have any sleep, I did terrible on that exam. I didn't even pass the block, but I remediated and we're good now. And I think that goes to show just upfront that how Michigan really values accommodating its students and supporting us in our goals outside of medicine as well.

As far as favorite sweet treat goes, I don't have a specific sweet treat that I love more than others, but there's this place that I've taken my family to a couple of times. I don't speak French by any means, but it says TOUS les JOURS. Forgive me for butchering that, but they just have a whole bunch of variety of small sweet treats. So we'll all go, we'll each pick one, and then we'll share each other's treats so we get some variety, and that's been really fun.

Mackenzie Kay:

That sounds pretty fun. And I remember when your baby was born, me and Kyle are in the same doctoring group, and I think that was block three, right?

Kyle Homer:

Yeah, it was a block three final.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I remember that. What a time. Yeah, kudos to you for making it through.

Kyle Homer:

Making it is the right way to say it.

Mackenzie Kay:

Both of you came into medical school with kids, correct?

Kyle Homer:

Yeah.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. So my first question is, what did your path into medical school look like already as a parent? Were there any challenges or did things look a little bit different compared to somebody who maybe didn't have kids in the picture?

Kyle Homer:

Yeah. I think for me, because my daughter was two and a half when I came here, she was there and present during MCAT studying, during pre-med classes, during interviews, all those things. She was there and she was present. And there were a couple of times she walked into the room and said hi to the people I was interviewing with and I had to usher her out and make sure she was being taken care of. But I think that also meant that there was the added responsibility of providing for her financially and emotionally and physically, however, whatever she needed.

During that whole time, I didn't have as much freedom to do things to bolster my resume without getting paid. I had to pick paid options, and it ended up working out great. I was a CNA, worked for a home health agency, got paid per visit, and I was very efficient. And so I was able to support her and my wife while she finished school as well and I was applying for medical school. And there's just another dynamic, another major aspect to your life as soon as you have a kid. It's not a pet, it's not a plant. You can't leave it for a day and it'll be fine. It really takes that much attention and that much planning to prepare for taking care of them and everything else in your life.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that and maybe not, also as somebody who only has a cat. Same question for you, Beth.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

My first son was seven months old when I started medical school. I was pregnant with him during MCAT.

Mackenzie Kay:

Wow.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So yeah, so he wasn't with us yet, but I was about nine weeks pregnant and super sick.

Mackenzie Kay:

Oh, wow.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

And it was a horrible testing experience.

Mackenzie Kay:

While you were taking the MCAT and you were sick?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes. Yeah, I was very, very sick.

Mackenzie Kay:

Oh my goodness.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

And it really didn't hit me, the pregnancy symptoms didn't hit until like the Monday before testing. So. I don't know if it was the combined nerves and pregnancy, but it was that Monday where I was like, oh no, how am I going to do this? But we did it and it was fine.

And I think what was fun was that prior to him being born, I did a post-bacc here at Michigan-

Mackenzie Kay:

Cool.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

... which was wonderful, it's what I needed to get my head back in the game. I worked as an epidemiologist at the CDC for eight years prior to medical school. So I had like this whole other career and life, and really needed to get back into academics and studying and that sort of thing. So, that's why I did the post-bacc, and then I had my baby and I was able to take some time in between having the baby and starting medical school, which was really nice just to give me a little bit of a break to recover, to adapt to life as a mom, and then get ready for medical school.

And yeah, I think in terms of some differences in that first year, I was still breastfeeding and so I think asking for some time, some breaks to pump was something that I had to adjust to. And thankfully, people have been so wonderful about that and I'm excited to talk more about what that experience has been like because it's been really wonderful. But yeah, I mean, otherwise, it is managing two full-time jobs. You're a medical student here, got a lot going on here, but then as soon as you go home, you're a parent and that is your job and that's your responsibility. And so, trying to find balance between the two has been just a common theme throughout the last four years.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I also was a post-bacc.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Nice.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, yeah, I did it at Goucher.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yay.

Mackenzie Kay:

So I love having non-trad on here, non-traditional or people who've taken alternative pathways to get to medical school. And so, it's awesome to hear about your experience as an epidemiologist and making this transition.

When you were a first year, did you have more in person classes?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

We didn't have many. We had doctoring that was in person, but for the most part, the studying was asynchronous lectures, Zoom calls and that sort of thing. So, it made it-

Mackenzie Kay:

So, similar to that.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes, yeah, it was nice-

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, that is nice.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

... in that regard, because I could literally have my baby and be nursing and listening to a lecture or something else. So, made that work.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, no, it is so nice. Yeah, our curriculum the first year I feel like is so flexible in that regard.

And then for your second baby, how was the transition at the end of your second year, having your baby during medical school? What support systems did you lean on? What opportunities did the school offer to you? What did you need to seek out?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I started by talking to our counselors. We each have an assigned counselor that we can reach out to. And so, I went to him actually day one of medical school and I was like, "When is the best time to have another baby? Because I want to do it. I want another baby." So, we kind of planned it out literally like in that in one year.

Mackenzie Kay:

Wow.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

And then when I got pregnant, I knew counting forward when my due date was. So, I reached out to the clerkship directors for the OB rotation, letting them know and asking if I could maybe take the exams early, which they allowed me to do, which was nice. So, I had all my exams finished by week three, I think, of OB, which gave me a lot of flexibility in terms of hopefully not having to make up any time or any tests if the baby were to come early.

And then we also had a branch launch, so that's the start of your third year here at Michigan is the welcome to branches. And for my year, it had just changed from two weeks to four weeks, and it was in person. And that was like the biggest thing that I was like, oh no, I definitely am not going to be able to do full days in person at two or three weeks postpartum, that's just not going to happen. But thankfully, knowing ahead of time, you got some time when you're pregnant, knowing when the baby's coming. And so, I just reached out and they were very, very accommodating. They were able to set me up with Zoom for basically all of it.

Mackenzie Kay:

Wow.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So, I think one of the challenges, a perceived challenge is that Michigan doesn't have like a written policy for parents. So, they really do make decisions on a case by case basis. There's pros and cons, but I think what worked in my favor was that being upfront and asking for accommodations early, I was able to get everything that I asked for.

And I think some of the other built-in help for entering your M3 and M4 year is that there's optional online classes so I could extend my maternity "leave," as well as step study. So using those months for studying for our big board exams. So essentially, I didn't come back to the hospital after having my baby until he was almost five months old or six months old.

Mackenzie Kay:

Wow, okay.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So it was nice, it was a good chunk of time to be able to be at home with my newborn and my toddler and adapt the whole family.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, absolutely.

Kyle Homer:

Yeah, I think third or fourth year is definitely the time at Michigan to have a kid if you are going to have one during medical school. M1 year wasn't the best, honestly. I mean, you have so many lectures to watch and to review and so much studying to do. And yes, a lot of those lectures are virtual, but the tests are not that flexible. I was lucky because right after block three is when winter break starts, and so they were able to extend that for me a little bit. It didn't matter for me in the end, but that was lucky timing. But for the most part, M1 year and M2 year, it just keeps marching on and there's not as much flexibility in... I know one of my classmates had a kid right before M2 year, and they were there at transition to clerkships two days after their kid was born. And so, it just keeps marching on. I'm happy to hear that about M3 and M4 year, because we're thinking about that, around that time for another one.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. In what ways have you felt that University of Michigan has supported you in your pregnancy and also like in the time that in helping figure out your schedule for your time that you took remotely when you just had your baby?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So, I did have like a scary moment in my pregnancy where I started bleeding at like week seven and I was like, oh my gosh, and it was right before the psychiatry and right before the shelf exam. And I just happened to have a pre-scheduled meeting with my doctoring faculty and I had just had an ultrasound done and they had found a subchorionic hematoma, and it was quite large, it was in the large category which put me at like high risk for a miscarriage, my age bracket puts me at high risk. So, I was just like in full on panic mode.

And my doctoring faculty very kindly was like, "Do you need to take this exam tomorrow?" And I hadn't even thought about it at all. I was like, "Well, I guess I have to because then I start my next rotation on Monday. I just have to get through it. It'll be fine." And he was like, "No, actually, I think you should reach out to your counselor if you want to, and maybe you can push back your test a little bit." And I did, and within like two hours, I had full, take some time.

Mackenzie Kay:

Wow.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

And I really appreciated that because it was just something that I hadn't even thought about. It was an accommodation that I had not considered, had not been looking for, but was offered to me in the right moment. And I was like, "Yes, I need this."

And I feel like at any point in my pregnancy where I was struggling or I was really tired, people were just like, "Just take a minute. It's okay. You're okay." And so, yeah, I think... And that was true both from the university side, as well as from the attendings and the hospital side. And so, I can't say enough good things about it, I really appreciate everybody because I mean, I feel like I expect high things. I'm a high achiever, so I expect myself to just get through and make things happen. And it's hard for me sometimes to recognize when I need support, and I feel like that's one thing that all of my mentors have been really good about. They can kind of see past what I'm feeling and they're like, "Hey, do you want to take a moment?" And I'm like, "Yes, actually, that'd be great." So yeah, so I think that was one example.

I think also I was like five and six months pregnant on my surgery rotation and my blood pressure, I just could not keep my blood pressures up standing up, trying to be like in full PPE, being there for a seven-hour surgery. And I was like, this is really hard. And even the nursing staff in the ORs were like, "Here's a stool. You can just sit down when you need to." And I'd be like, "Okay, I'm going to sit down. I'm going to collect myself and then I can get back up and jump in to help." So, that was really nice.

And then yeah, breastfeeding has been wonderful. Everybody's super accommodating. Every rotation that I'm on, there's always a breastfeeding area, designated area somewhere either on the same floor or within the building. And so, that has never, ever been an issue. I've always been able to like, "Okay, I need to take a 20-minute break." People are like, "Take 30 minutes, take whatever time you need, it's fine." So yeah, the institutional support has been above and beyond what I expected. I thought it'd be more like, "All right, but we have to go see this patient at this time, so just be quick about it." But nobody's been like that at all, which is really nice.

Mackenzie Kay:

No, that's good. And I think really important for women or people with uteruses who are considering pregnancy to hear during med school.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Exactly, yeah.

Mackenzie Kay:

So, I'm really glad that that was your experience.

Is there community support amongst parents in med school? Do you guys have like a little GroupMe or a formal organization that you-

Elizabeth Kranyak:

We do, we have a parents in medical school group and we try to do... I'm actually the social chair, so I try to organize events. It's so hard to organize not only medical students, but parents in medical school, but we just had an event at a pumpkin patch a few weeks ago, and we try to do it quarterly. Winter's the hardest, but fall usually works out well, and we had something over the summer in parks and things. But just an area, it's usually sort of semi-controlled chaos, where we come together, we all get to say, "Hi, I'm a parent. I'm an M4. These are my kids." And then everybody just disperses because the kids are playing, but we try.

Mackenzie Kay:

No, it's true. I can imagine the logistical challenges of getting everybody and their schedules together.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Mackenzie Kay:

It's hard enough, but I imagine it's nice to be able to get, hear that M1 is hard, M2 is hard, M3 and M4 maybe are easier to get that advice might be-

Kyle Homer:

Yeah. No, yeah. I mean, that's what I would probably recommend here, and sounds like you would say the same.

Going back to that community, in our class, Mac, there are seven parents currently and then one on the way, and there'll be four moms and there are currently four dads. And so it's honestly, we have our own little GroupMe, in addition to the parents in medicine.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

That's amazing.

Kyle Homer:

And we honestly, there's something as when you see another parent just like, "Hey, how are your kids?" That's like, connection is immediate. "Oh, you have kids, you're in med school? Okay, we're best friends now."

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Totally.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah.

Kyle Homer:

Because there's that added dynamic to your life that you share.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. Just a different level of, you get it.

Kyle Homer:

Yep, yep.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yeah. Absolutely.

Mackenzie Kay:

Another question that is coming to mind is, you maybe had expectations coming into medical school about maybe what it would be like to strike this balance of your first shift, your second shift. What has surprised you and what has not?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I think coming in, I knew that communication was going to be important between myself and my husband. I knew that there would be a balancing act. I think what was surprising is that you often have to make these decisions in real time, and you can't plan. You can plan as much as you can, but there's a lot that you just can't account for. And I mean, and for clerkships, for your monthly rotations, you usually get your schedule just days before you start, which is so hard for childcare, especially when you're talking about working over weekends and nights and these long days where you have to get up. And it's just the childcare aspect is so... I don't know if it's been hard for you, but we don't have immediate family in the area. And so, we've had to come up with our own solutions to make sure that my husband can do the work that he needs to do, that I'm able to be at the hospital when I need to be.

So, I think I knew that there was going to be a lot of negotiating between the two of us and putting things down on paper as well as we could, but I don't think I truly anticipated how much we would need to be flexible in the moment. And so, that's been something that we've just got to do it and we have and we're here now and still making it through. But yeah, scheduling has been the biggest surprise.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, I'm sure. And having to take it day by day. Yeah.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Kyle Homer:

I'm not sure what I expected. I honestly just expected it to be hard and it is hard, so I guess my expectations were met.

Mackenzie Kay:

Fair enough.

Kyle Homer:

However, I also think I found a lot more joy in it than I thought I would previously. I thought I would have to be not present for the next seven years, minimum, but I've really felt like I've been able to be present in important moments for my kids.

We've had to be really flexible financially. And one of the things that I've had to do is donate plasma and I go when I can, and that gives us the resources that we need to survive and support my kids and my spouse in taking care of my kids. So, we've had to be really flexible financially, whereas we're blessed to not have to be as flexible with daycare. Part of that reason, or part of the reason we chose to do it this way is because we also don't have family nearby to help with the kids when we need.

Both my daughters have hearing loss inherited from me and have, because of that, had some additional visits to the doctors and stuff. And so that really is jus, for us, there's not a good way for my wife to go and get a job and for us to be able to manage scheduling daycare on top of the finances. So, we're doing it the way that works best for us, and that's different for everybody. Everybody's situation's a little bit different.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I'm amazed by you, Kyle. I mean, every single time we have doctoring, which I miss our weekly doctoring meetings, but now it's every couple of months. Kyle has the most beautiful updates about his children and all the milestones that they're reaching, specifically Maryanne, his second child, because we were with her when she was born, basically. And so, oh, she's smiling, she's laughing, she's walking, she's standing, like all these things. It's been quite amazing getting to see her grow up through your eyes.

I want to switch gears a little bit and talk about a typical day in the life. And I know that this changes year to year, so let's talk about this year. What does a typical day look like for you balancing classes or rotations, as well as your parenting duties?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

So, I'm in my M4 year, and right now we're in the thick of interview season. I'm also finishing up a few required rotations that I pushed off this year because I had the baby and I didn't want to do an intense rotation. So, I'm wrapping up an ICU month in the cardiovascular center. And so, right now the day shifts start at 6:00 AM, so I'm leaving home in the dark at 5:30 to get to the hospital to start. And then thankfully, I'm done usually in the mid-afternoon, so I'm able to come home. But this really is, it feels like the two full-time jobs are felt morning to night. So when I wake up in the morning, I'm doing my medical school job, and then I come home and I'm taking care of the kids until they go to bed.

And but in a week, I will be done with this and I'll be back on interviews. And so, every day is going to be different because I have a whole interview schedule that is just varied day by day. So yeah, it's controlled chaos, I would say.

Kyle Homer:

That's a really great way to put it.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I'm hearing routine is extremely important and having a good schedule, having everything as much as you can organized.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Right, right, yeah. We try to have like a bedtime routine where we do the same things every day. It just may happen at different times with different parents, but try to keep some consistency where we can.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah.

Kyle Homer:

Clerkship year, you're changing where you're at all the time. So, it's hard to have a normal or a consistent schedule.

I'll use yesterday as an example. I had a full day at outpatient peds yesterday. I woke up, didn't have to leave quite as early, which was nice, but still left before my kids were awake, left around 7:30, 8:00, somewhere around there. And did my whole day outpatient peds, came home, and anybody who comes home to a spouse who stays at home knows that as soon as they get home, it's their turn to take over for a little bit. And so usually I'll come home, play with the kids for a little bit. That gives my wife the space to finish up dinner if she needs to finish up dinner, or I will cook dinner. And then it's playing with kids, it's feeding kids, it's changing kids, it's bathing kids, it's reading books to kids, it's brushing their teeth because they won't do it themselves, it's taking them potty. It's all those things.

And then I'm usually done around like 8:30, and then I have to like lay on the couch for a little bit and then I can think about studying. So, from the time I get home to the time they're in bed, I've hardly even thought about studying. I'm taking care of their needs and trying to support my wife because she's been with them the rest of the day, and then we tend to wind down by watching in, one of a favorite episode of whatever we're watching at the time, and then I stay up late and I study.

Mackenzie Kay:

I'm amazed by that, genuinely amazed by that.

A question that I have for you guys is, how has becoming a parent changed your perspective on patient care or taking care of patients?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yeah, I love this question. I think it's just taken away any of my expectations when I see a patient. You have no idea what else they're dealing with when they come in the room, when you come in the room and you start asking them questions. And any kind of preconceived notions about whatever it is, you're only presented with the information that's in their medical records, and very rarely does that encompass their full experience and what they're having to work with and deal with.

So, I think empathy is a big one. Anybody who's like, "Oh, I'm a mom. I'm sorry. I haven't been to the doctor in five years." I'm like, "I get it. No worries. We're here now. Let's move forward." Or as an adult, dealing with their aging parents or something, there's always so much more that's happening. And I think being a parent now myself, I come in ready to be like, "That's okay. Whatever else is happening, we're ready to help support you with what you need right now." So, I think that's, yeah, just no expectations when meeting patients.

Mackenzie Kay:

No, and yeah, that makes sense. And I think that that's a lesson that a lot of us could take as well.

Kyle Homer:

I think it gives me a lot more perspective in the relationships, the importance of relationships that people have with each other, because I know how much I care about my wife and my kids and the depth of relationship that I have with them. And so, when I go into a room and there's a mom and a kid or a husband and a wife or any relationship and there's a conversation about health and there's maybe a difficult conversation, I feel like I have a better idea of how that might feel and how that impacts their emotions, and it makes me a lot more sensitive to the emotions that people might be experiencing in that room. Because I've heard this so many times from so many people, but happiness rarely has everything to do with what's happening in our lives and more to do with the relationships that we have with the people around us. And I can attest to that in my own life and I can recognize that in my patients' lives as well.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. I'm hearing and seeing that both of you are so committed to discipline and patience in your lives. And I can imagine that in taking care of patients like you are as parents, there's probably not a lot that surprises you either. You can, from the stuff that your kids have said or maybe from, yeah, as they're growing up.

Kyle Homer:

Or like, "Oh, I apologize. I might smell bad." "Oh, I have smelled worse."

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah, I'm sure nothing has come out of left field for you.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Right, right.

Mackenzie Kay:

Okay. And what do you think you've learned about yourself as a parent because of being a medical student?

Kyle Homer:

I think one thing that being a medical student has taught me about being a parent is that I can involve my kids in my activities too. I will often, and you've seen Eden around, my older daughter, I'll bring her to stuff, medical school events. There was one time I brought her to school and I had a doctoring standardized patient and I just asked one of my classmates, I was like, "Do you mind just sitting here with my daughter for a little bit while I go and do this SP?" And she loved that and she begged me to come to school with me for the next three weeks because she wanted to go to school and watch movies.

But this week I brought her to a family medicine interest group activity and she comes with me to whatever I can, whatever I can bring her to, and I think that gives her a little bit more perspective on why I'm doing what I'm doing. And it also just allows me to both do school and spend time with my kid at the same time. And so, involving her has been really fun and I know that's harder with some of the younger ages.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I love that. Actually, so I had my baby at Michigan and my older son was now old enough that he could remember. And for weeks afterwards he wanted to come to work with mommy to come to the hospital. So there were a few days where I'd be like, "Okay, okay, come on." My husband would drop him off and we'd get some breakfast and then I'd send him back out because I had to go do patient care or something. But like, "Okay, let's go see the hospital for a little bit," and he would get so excited.

Mackenzie Kay:

That is so cute. Yeah. I was going to ask, how do your kids react to you being in medical school? Do they have a degree of understanding of what you do or what you're here for?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yeah. So my oldest one is going to be four in December, so he's just now understanding. I think his exposures to doctors are helping him understand a little bit. So in addition to the birth of his brother, we also had a very exciting, wonderful experience where he was like, "Oh mommy, I swallowed a battery." And I was like, "Excuse me, what? " And we had this whole... I asked him all the questions, I drilled him, and he was adamant that he swallowed a battery. Even though his story kept changing that I was like, I don't think he really did, but that is not something you want to play around with. So we came here to Michigan to the emergency department and after that too, he talked about that. He was like, "Oh, the doctors, they took a picture of my belly and they talked to me about this," and he was just so excited.

So, he is now understanding doctors and hospitals and that sort of thing. But yeah, some he understands a little bit more in some of these regards than I would have expected at this point, but it's okay. And he's okay, he did not swallow a battery, just for the record, so.

Mackenzie Kay:

It's a good ending.

Kyle Homer:

Yeah. Similar thing to my older as well. I mean, she was like two and a half to three and a half during M1 year, and practicing for my SPs, I would come home and I would practice on her and be like, "All right. All right, Eden, time to play doctor." She would lay down on the couch and I would like-

Elizabeth Kranyak:

That's amazing.

Kyle Homer:

... practice going through the exam that I had to practice going through and that was a lot of fun. And then she often wanted to reverse it. And one of my favorite memories is after practicing reflexes on her, she also wanted to practice reflexes on me.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Oh no.

Kyle Homer:

And grabbed my reflex hammers, started hitting me on the head. I was like, "There's not a reflex there, not that kind of reflex, anyways."

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Kyle Homer:

So, that's been a lot of fun. Recently though, being gone a lot more, come home, I still have to try to study. There was one time I was talking with her and saying that I needed to go and study and she's like, "Dad, I really want to play with you." And I'm like, "I know. I want to play with you too." And she said, "Dad, I don't get to play with you very much anymore." And I'm like, "I know, I'm really sorry." And I didn't really have a good response to that. And so, there's that pride, but then there's also that aspect of, I am devoting a lot of time away from my family. And I'm going to coin this term, Beth, you can tell me how you like it.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Coin it.

Kyle Homer:

High impact parenting.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes, yes. I know where you're going with this.

Kyle Homer:

I tried to do what I call high impact parenting, where one day it started thundering and it hadn't thundered yet, but it started pouring and raining. And I was like, "Eden, do you want to go play in the rain?" And she's like, "I don't want to get wet." I was like, "Let's go play in the rain." And I grabbed her and we ran outside and got drenched, and she still remembers that. And so picking moments where I can have a really high impact and create those memories to overshadow maybe some of the not so great memories she has, is one of my priorities.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I love that, yeah. It takes some thought and sometimes you have these spontaneous moments and you're like, yes, this is what I need to keep doing. And yeah, the thing about parenting is there's no book that tells you exactly how to do it perfectly. And so, you are just making decisions in the moment and doing the best that you can and trying to balance everything. And yeah, I think especially in your M2 year when you have no control over your schedule and it changes so frequently, it is so hard to stay on top of these moments and scheduling things.

But one thing we do as a family is try to do all the seasonal things. So for fall, we always go to the same pumpkin patch every year, and so my son knows this now and he recognizes it. For Christmas, trying to instill some of these traditions and for just, even if it's not on the day, like Valentine's Day, we may not celebrate on Valentine's Day, but I'm going to make some happy cookies and have little things. So, trying to make these moments that you hope they remember. And if not, it's just the idea that's behind it and doing the best that you can and trying to make something special for them that, yeah.

Kyle Homer:

High impact parenting.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

High impact, I love that. Yes.

Mackenzie Kay:

I love it. Put a TM. TM, TM.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Mackenzie Kay:

What would you say to somebody who is considering medical school who is also worried about starting a family? What advice would you give to them?

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I think I would start by saying that recognizing that it is hard and affirming that any hesitations that they have are valid, because it is hard. There's no work around, but it can be done.

And also in my class, there's a collection of us that are parents and you find your people. And we haven't talked much about the culture at Michigan, but just to touch on that a little bit is that I find that everybody that I've worked with from attendings to residents have been very supportive of family needs, like when I need to go and take time for breastfeeding, or if I need to make a quick phone call and make sure my kid's okay for whatever reason, people are very supportive. So, it can be done. So, for anybody who's thinking about it, it's possible, it's doable. If you're sure that this is what you want to do, then you can do it. And both from the school side and from the hospital side, there are supports that are available. It doesn't make it easy, but you can do it.

Kyle Homer:

I've never regretted having my kids when I had my kids. I love them a lot and have never once regretted having them. And they bring so much joy into my life, more so than... They pay for themselves in joy.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yes.

Mackenzie Kay:

And just to wrap up the episode, and I just want to sincerely thank both of you for sharing your experiences so far. I just want to ask, and Kyle alluded to this a little bit earlier. What does success look like to you now, both as a parent and a medical student?

Kyle Homer:

If I succeed in parenting and fail in medical school, it'll still be a success. If I fail as a parent and succeed in medical school, it won't be a success, and it really comes back to that. Now, we can succeed in both, but the priority is on my kids and my family, and medical school is something that I love to do and something that I want to do, and it's something that will allow me to provide for my family and making the impact in the world that I want to make. But at the end of the day, when I retire, I'll be spending time with my kids and my grandkids, and that's a big drive for doing well, is for my family. Everything is for my family now, and medical school is a way to succeed in that area.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Yeah, I can echo that. It's the same for me, priorities are my family and success. And now that I'm in my fourth year and doing interviews, when I'm considering programs and my rank list for matching, it comes down to, where is my family going to thrive? Where is a good place to raise my boys? Other family ties and things like that. So, success for me is also like thinking long term for my family's success and where they're going to thrive.

Mackenzie Kay:

Oh, and I sincerely wish you luck in the match.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Thank you.

Mackenzie Kay:

It's really exciting.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

Thank you.

Mackenzie Kay:

Only a couple months away too.

Elizabeth Kranyak:

I know, I know. Yep, it's becoming more real.

Mackenzie Kay:

Yeah. Well, as you continue to interview, good luck.

So just to wrap this up, thank you for tuning into UMich Med Mosaic. Kyle and Beth, thank you for joining us today. It was such a sincere pleasure to have you both. And to everyone, thank you for listening.

If you love today's conversation, share it with a friend. If you are a Michigan medical student and are interested in being a future guest, check out the class pages on Slack for open calls for episodes. UMich Med Mosaic is produced by the Michigan Medicine Department of Communication, in partnership with the University of Michigan Medical School. Find us and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Thanks for listening and we hope to see you soon.