How to prepare your child for a hospital stay or surgery: 10 expert tips

Few things are more stressful for parents than hearing their child needs to stay in the hospital or have surgery.

It’s natural to worry about how your child will react and how to help them cope.

Child life specialists work with families every day to help children understand medical experiences and navigate their emotions.

Mary Rumple, a certified child life specialist at University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital, shares some of the Child and Family Life team’s most helpful tips for preparing your child and supporting them during a hospital stay.

1. Start by checking in with yourself

Children often take emotional cues from their parents. Before talking with your child about the hospital, take a moment to reflect on your own feelings about medical experiences.

“If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try to identify what’s worrying you and find healthy ways to cope,” Rumple said.

“When you feel calmer and more prepared, you’ll be better able to support your child.”

2. Let your child share how they feel

Children may feel scared, sad, angry or confused about going to the hospital or ahead of surgery.

Encourage them to talk about their feelings and listen without rushing to dismiss them.

Try to avoid phrases like “don’t be scared,” “don’t cry” or “you’re fine,” Rumple says.

Instead, acknowledge their emotions by saying things like “It’s okay to feel nervous or scared,” or “A lot of kids feel that way.”

“Parents naturally want to make everything better right away, but giving children space to express their emotions helps them feel understood and supported,” Rumple said.

3. Reassure them they won’t face it alone

One of the biggest fears for younger children is being separated from their parents.

Let your child know that you will be there with them and that the people at the hospital are there to help.

“Explain in simple terms that doctors, nurses and other staff are helpers whose job is to make their bodies feel better,” Rumple said.

“And remind them that you’ll be there with them.”

4. Prepare them for what they will experience

How you explain a hospital stay should depend on your child’s age and development.

For toddlers, Rumple suggests simple medical play, such as using toy doctor kits, bandages or stuffed animals to help them become familiar with what they might see.

Preschoolers may benefit from simple explanations, pictures or pretend play, such as taking turns being the doctor and the patient.

School-aged children often want more information.

Explain why they need the procedure and give them time to ask questions.

For older kids and teens, include them in conversations from the beginning.

“Give older kids and teens a voice in the process. Ask what concerns they have and what information would help them feel more comfortable and prepared,” Rumple said.

5. Be honest about pain

While it may be tempting to reassure your child that something will not hurt, it’s better to be honest about what they might feel.

If something might cause discomfort, Rumple says, explain that ahead of time and talk about ways to cope, such as taking slow, deep breaths, squeezing a parent’s hand, hugging a stuffed animal, watching a video or playing a game.

“Be honest about the possibility of pain,” Rumple said.

“Honesty builds trust and helps reduce anxiety. Remind them the medical team is there to help manage their pain.”

6. Bring comfort from home

A hospital room can feel unfamiliar and intimidating. Bringing special items from home can make the space feel more comfortable.

Helpful items might include a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, books or games, special toys, photos of family and friends, music or personal devices.

“Favorite items can provide distraction, comfort and a sense of familiarity,” Rumple said.

7. Keep routines when possible

Children benefit from structure, even in a hospital setting.

When possible, create a simple daily routine that includes things like brushing teeth, meals, medicine or treatments, rest time and play and screen time.

Some families find it helpful to write the schedule on the wall or use pictures.

“Giving kids a sense of predictability can help them feel more secure,” Rumple said.

8. Give them choices

Hospital stays can be overwhelming for children. Giving them choices can help restore a sense of independence.

For example, let them choose whether to watch or look away during a procedure, whether they want to sit up or lie down for vitals or if they would rather play a game or watch a movie afterward.

“Small decisions can help kids feel more in control,” Rumple said.

9. Work with the care team

Your child’s medical team supports both physical and emotional well-being.

Child life specialists at Mott help prepare children for procedures and teach coping strategies.

They can also provide child-friendly education materials, create comfort plans for procedures and connect families to programs like art, music or pet therapy.

“Young people find escape and comfort in different ways,” Rumple said.

“For some kids it’s playing video games. Others may enjoy making music, creating art or visiting with a therapy dog. We help find what brings each child the most joy.”

10. Don’t forget to care for yourself

Supporting a hospitalized child can be emotionally and physically exhausting.

Stay connected with supportive friends and family, take breaks when possible, eat and hydrate and ask for help with responsibilities at home.

“Taking care of your own well-being helps you stay strong for your child,” Rumple said.

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Give yourself time to recharge and remember that our teams are here to support your whole family.”