How do you break your child's bad habits?

You might find that some habits or behaviors that your kids exhibit tend to annoy you. 

If you want to change that unwanted behavior, though, it helps to first understand why your child is doing it in the first place. 

Often, bad habits are just a coping strategy that your child falls back on when they’re stressed, bored, frustrated, unhappy, insecure or tired. 

Many of these “bad” behaviors are actually calming and soothing for your child.

Most behaviors are just “phases” or habits—not serious medical problems—that a child typically outgrows. 

But managing them in the meantime can prove to be difficult and potentially frustrating.

Yelling, calling attention to it and/or issuing punishments actually don’t usually work to resolve them (and may even increase them.)

So, what should you do then? 

In general, and as simple as it may sound, attempt to ignore them. 

Instead, give praise and positive rewards for when your child isn’t doing the behavior. Remember: patience will be key in these situations.

Below is a list of common habits or behaviors you might be struggling to address with your little one, along with some helpful tactics to try in getting them to stop or outgrow them.

9 bad habits and how to help them stop

1. Finger sucking and pacifiers

There are different types of sucking kids might do through infancy and childhood. 

Although many babies outgrow thumb sucking or pacifiers before their first birthday, most stop by age five due to peer pressure. 

For pacifiers, it’s ideal to get rid of them by age four. 

Thumb and finger sucking typically start in the first few months of life, with pacifiers and blankets often being other common sucking objects parents might see.

Sucking has a soothing, calming effect that often helps kids fall sleep. 

However, it can become worrisome when permanent teeth start developing (around age five) as the mechanism of sucking can alter the shape of their teeth, palate and/or bite. 

Some tips to help stop the use of pacifiers or finger sucking include:

• Cutting slits in the mouthpiece of the pacifier. This makes it less effective, leading the child to eventually  lose interest
• Having the “pacifier fairy” come. Have your child help put all their pacifiers in a jar to be left overnight for the pacifier fairy. Then have the “fairy” leave a special treat for the child who is giving up their pacifier
• Reserve it for sleep time. If going “cold turkey” is too hard, have your child leave the pacifier in their bedroom every morning so that they can only use it at bedtime or naptime

2. Head banging, head rolling and body rocking

Head banging, head rolling and body rocking are common childhood self-comforting habits. 

Head banging is when a child repeatedly hits their head against a solid object, like a crib. 

Some will bang their head as many as 80 times a minute, which can feel alarming to a parent or caregiver who’s worried about an injury occurring. 

Often the child doesn’t appear to be in pain, but rather they’re calm and content while banging their head. 

This habit usually begins around nine months old and resolves itself around the age of two. 

As for head rolling, this is when an infant rolls their head from side to side while lying on their back. 

They may even do the head rolling so much that it results in them rubbing the hair completely off the back of their head.

And body rocking is when a child rhythmically rocks while sitting or resting on their knees or elbows. 

This behavior usually starts around 6 months and ends around age two. Most kids rock for 15 minutes or less. 

Like head banging, it often occurs while listening to music or falling asleep.

These behaviors are often harmless, but can be worrisome if your child also has developmental delays. 

Talk about the habit with your pediatrician who can help you decide whether there’s any cause for concern.

3. Teeth grinding

Bruxism, or teeth grinding or clenching, is a habit seen in over half of infants of normal development. 

It usually starts around six months old when your baby’s teeth first come in, and then again around five years old when their permanent teeth appear. 

Teeth grinding mainly happens during their sleep, and as long as it isn’t damaging their tooth enamel, it’s okay to simply monitor. 

Children usually outgrow it, but bruxism can continue into adulthood, causing dental problems or disorders in the jaw joint. 

If your child is grinding their adult teeth, seek an evaluation with a local dentist.

4. Nail and cuticle biting or picking

Nail biting, cuticle biting and picking becomes a concern if it results in recurrent bleeding or infection of the nail beds. 

Like other habits, positive reinforcement strategies are the most effective way to stop this behavior. 

Try to catch your child without their finger or fingers in their mouth and simply describe what they’re doing with their hands instead. 

For example, “I see you are folding origami with your fingers,” or “You are using your fingers to scratch the cat's ears! She likes that!”

There are also sour-tasting nail polishes that can help deter kids from putting their hands in their mouth. 

Another strategy involves applying band aids to the nail to prevent the habit and even putting vinegar on the pad of the band aid to make the taste less appealing.

5. Nose picking

Nose picking can be one of the most aggravating behaviors because it’s seen as one of the least socially acceptable. 

However, it’s one of the most common habits among children and adults. 

Nose picking can start when crusting occurs from infection, allergies or minor trauma. 

But picking actually causes more irritation to the nose, which then in turn creates a vicious cycle. 

It’s also the most common cause of nosebleeds.

Tell your child that picking their nose isn’t acceptable in public and that they can use a tissue to clear out the nose and take care of itchiness. 

Explain to them that picking their nose can pass germs onto others and insist they wash their hands after they touch it. 

Consider applying a small amount of petroleum jelly inside the nose, a couple times a day, to help break the cycle of any irritation and/or picking. 

Keeping the nose moist with a little saline spray before bed can also help. 

If their nose irritation seems persistent, talk with your child's primary care provider to find out other ways they recommend to address the issue.

6. Hair twirling and pulling

Hair twirling or mild hair pulling that results in minimal hair loss is another self-calming behavior seen in infants and children. 

Like thumb sucking, it often occurs when the child is relaxed, bored or tired. Children usually outgrow this habit on their own.

There’s a more serious form of hair pulling, called trichotillomania, which involves pulling the hair from the scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows and/or pubic areas. 

This is a rare disorder that often suggests an underlying psychological problem and needs to be evaluated by a physician.

But know that hair loss on its own, more than noted above, can be a sign of a serious medical problem, like an infection or other disease. 

If you’re noticing increased hair loss or becoming more concerned with the issue, make sure to see a pediatrician who can further assess the situation.

7. Tics

Tics are stereotyped behaviors (twitches or movements) that are frequently repeated. 

The movement can involve any body part; a facial tic, especially blinking the eyes, is the most common. 

Temporary tics are a habit that starts during childhood or teen years and can last anywhere from one month to a year. 

With temporary tics, the child can suppress the tic voluntarily for minutes to hours when asked. The tic may occur more frequently at certain times and not at others.

Rarely there are vocal tics or more complex tics kids can have, which suggest a more serious underlying disorder called Tourette syndrome. 

If the tic occurs for longer than a year, or the child cannot suppress it, it can be a sign of a more serious problem and should be evaluated by your child's doctor.

If you have any concerns at all, try to record the behavior, and how many times you see it throughout the day, to show your doctor so you can discuss it sooner.

8. Masturbation

Most children, both boys and girls, play with their genitals (private parts) fairly regularly by the age of five.

Most often, masturbation is a normal part of childhood development. 

It’s important to remember that at this age, masturbation is not sexual to the child. 

If you have concerns about your child’s masturbation, your pediatrician can is a helpful resource to discuss the topic further with.

9. Breath holding, or breathing spells

Breath holding, or breathing spells, are scary episodes for a parent or caregiver. 

A breath holding spell is an episode where the child stops breathing for a short period of time after an upsetting, frightening or painful experience. 

Sometimes a child holds their breath to the point of losing consciousness. 

In extreme cases, a child can have seizure-appearing behavior while having these breath holding spells.

An episode may last a few seconds to a full minute, and they usually happen most often around 18 to 24 months and stop by age five. 

If your child does lose consciousness during an episode, try not to panic, as experts have not linked any long-term effects from these breath holding spells. 

It’s also important to know that these episodes are not voluntary. 

When breath holding occurs, keep your child calm and stay by them to protect them from any injury while it’s happening.

How to break a child’s bad habits 

1. Try ignoring the annoying behavior

Your child will probably outgrow the habit in time. 

Giving a lot of attention to it (even though it's negative) may actually encourage them to continue it. 

2. Praise your child for good behavior

The best kind of praise simply describes what you see that you'd like to see more of. 

Catch your child being good and tell them you noticed. For example, tell them you noticed when they weren't chewing on their nails.

It’s almost impossible to stop the bad habit until a child becomes interested in stopping it themselves 

For example, a little girl may actually get enough “benefit” out of biting her nails that she won’t be willing to stop on her own just yet. 

When she gets a bit little older, though, she may be interested in having nice looking nails. This is when you’ll be able to step in to help her quit.

3. Don’t try to make too many changes at once

If there are several behaviors you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. 

Try to figure out what may be making your child stressed and help them address it. 

4. Involve your child in the process

Give your child chances to talk to you about things that might be worrying them and make eye contact and actively listen to what they say.

Let your child make decisions whenever possible, by giving them acceptable choices. 

For example, “Would you rather have toast or cereal for breakfast?” 

This will help your child feel in control, reducing their level of stress and frustration they may be experiencing daily.

5. Redirect your child 

Help your kid find a better place, or better way, to do what they’re trying to do. 

For example, if their nose is irritated, have them clean it with a tissue, apply saline nasal spray or petroleum jelly (consult your pediatrician first) and then wash their hands. 

If they simply must go “digging,” have them do it in the bathroom, not in public, and wash their hands afterward.

Having a few positively stated rules, and explaining the reasons behind them, tends to be the most effective way to help them.